Category: Random Ramblings

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Brb, the Owl is Eating the Toaster

Samoyed Dog and Owl

So… Apparently I’m grounded.

My writing buddy, Jessie, knows that I have a certain talent for doing stupid things when she’s not there to stop me. So since we haven’t talked for several months, she didn’t quite know what to answer to the IM “Just a sec, the owl is eating the toaster”.

To be fair, getting an owl is not THAT crazy, compared to other things I have done in her absence (Let’s not mention that gay dating site…). But apparently, she’s now convinced that is she ever goes MIA again, the next message will be “Hold on, my dragon is burning the neighbour’s roof!” She just doesn’t trust me at all…

Anyway, back to the owl…

A couple of months ago, I got this adorable 3-weeks old Burrowing Owl. And in my defense, the falconer who sold it to me had me signed up for one for almost a year! Getting an owl might still be stupid, but at least I thought this stupid thing through first…

But I assure you, if you had seen the little guy when he was just a chick, you would have wanted him too! Isn’t he just cute?

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I named him/her Artemis, but I really have no idea if it’s a boy or a girl! I still need to take him to the vet to get him tested. It’s so much easier with cats and dogs where you just have to turn them around and look…

As he(Poor guy gets a girl name, but I still call him ‘he’) was just a baby when I got him, I spent close to a month getting up at six in the morning to chop up day-old chickens and mice. He needed to be fed every 6 hours and I was hand-feeding him in order for him to see me as a fellow. He doesn’t think he’s human, I apparently just haven’t realized that I’m an owl yet…

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What I was most worried about, was how my dogs would react. As it turned out, he scared the crap out of Shika. I kept him in a box the first week, and Shika made sure to walk in a big circle AROUND the box. Never mind the fact that he could squeeze the bird with his paw and that it was sitting on the bottom of a cardboard box…

But he came around. As a matter of fact, it only took a few days before he thought the bird was the cutest thing in the world. And despite of both of my dogs being big Samoyeds, Artemis was not the least bit afraid of them. So quickly, him and Shika became the best of friends. I swear, that’s the strangest friendship I have ever seen…

Dog and Owl

I guess I just have to deal with the fact that I’ll never get normal pets…

But I still don’t see why Jessie won’t let me get a dragon! I would feed it, and walk it, and pet it… Besides, I’m sure my admission letter from Hogwarts is coming any day now…

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A Rainy Midsummer

Midsummer Bonfire Summer SolsticeIn Scandinavia, we celebrate Midsummer by lighting huge bonfires and burn witches on them. Or well, these days we make straw dolls of witches and burn them instead. It’s such a wonderfully political incorrect tradition!

Despite it sounding a bit homicidal, it’s actually my favorite tradition. It’s the only time of year the people in my little town get together, and it’s one of the few traditions that hasn’t been tainted by people trying to make money off of it. Everyone get together on the eve of the Summer Solstice to watch the bonfire, sing Midsummer hymns and generally have a good time.

Where I live, it’s a tradition to walk in procession through the town while carrying torches. When the procession reaches the place where the bonfire is going to be, everyone help lighting it with the torch fire. Only problem, I always end up covered in kerosene and walk around in fear of lighting myself on fire. It hasn’t happened yet, but I have no doubt I will succeed at some point!

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This year wasn’t that remarkable. Someone had forgotten to put a witch on the bonfire, I very nearly ended up getting charged with sexual assault and my dogs shared their first beer. That pretty much sums the evening up.

It had rained all day, so I had been worried that we had to light the bonfire in rain. Luckily, it seemed to stop shortly before we all got together and it kept dry until the fire had almost burned out by itself anyway. Everything went smoothly, when you don’t count sudden, unexpected movements from my Samoyeds…

I was just admiring the flames, when Shika thought it was a brilliant idea to go say hello to the pack of Dachshunds that had arrived. And, of course, he took the straightest route there… Which was inbetween one of my neighbour’s legs.

That would have all been good and well, if I hadn’t been attached to the other end of the leash… The sudden movement had me stumbling and since the dog went between the guy’s legs, so did the hand I used to hang onto the leash with. I swear, those dogs are going to land me in jail one of these days…

But when you ignore the fact that I nearly groped one of my neighbours, and that someone asked me to get on the fire because we needed a substitute witch, it was a very nice evening.

And I didn’t set myself on fire this year either!

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A Girl and Her Android

Sony Ericsson Xperia Arc SOkay, I caved! Despite countless attempts at avoiding the blasted things, I’m now the, erm… proud owner of an Android phone. I have desperately tried to hold on to my old Sony Ericsson phone, because I just wanted a phone. And something that can handle being smashed into the pavement and dropped in the toilet a couple of times… Somehow, I don’t think this one will survive it just because I blow dry its battery afterwards…

My new phone might be an Android thingy, but I’m grasping at straws and managed to at least get another Sony Ericsson! It’s a Xperia Arc S, and I admit it’s shiny… But I still wouldn’t have gotten one if it hadn’t been practically thrown at my head. Despite being of the young ‘hip’ generation, I’m very old-fashioned when it comes to phones. I can barely type on a phone keyboard, much less a touch-screen, and as I said, I don’t handle breakable things very well…

My mother has been pestering me about my phone for a long time and have offered to buy me a newer one several times. See something wrong with this situation? Both my parents go through 3-4 phones each by the time I pull myself together to get a new one. I was never the teenager begging her parents for a new phone, I was the one insisting my old one was good enough and I didn’t want them to buy me a new one. Somewhere along the way, I think we got the scripts got mixed up…

Anyway, about a month ago, my mother shoved a list into my hands and told me to choose any phone from there, as her company had made a deal with the phone company and would pay for whichever one I chose. And I might not have wanted a new phone, but I do like free stuff. So I went through the list, but was still hesitant to give up my old phone. I really do hate touch-screens…

I told her that I was not really sure if there was anything I wanted and I really thought I meant that I wasn’t sure. Apparently, in my mother’s head, it meant that when I had mentioned a few I would check out on the internet, it meant that I would like one of those. Didn’t really matter that a few of the ones I had checked out weren’t even phones as I had first thought, but tablets or netbooks(And I do afterall have a perfectly good netbook with teethmark from my dog on the lid!).

Didn’t last long before my mother happily called me and said that my new phone was ordered and on its way. My new what now? But I didn’t point out that I hadn’t actually ordered a phone, because when my mother says I have ordered a new phone, I have ordered a new phone.

She also informed me that she had decided on an iPhone for herself. I very nearly disowned her then. No relative of mine voluntarily buy something which name begins with “i”. And for the love of Bill Gates, if she starts considering switching from a laptop to a Mac, I might do something drastic…

Back to the subject: I have now had my Android phone for a total of 4 days, and I still haven’t figured out how men with big fingers ever learn to type on one of those screens. I have very thin fingers myself, and even I feel like a bumbling fool when I use close to a minute to type what would have taken me a couple of seconds to write on a computer keyboard. The ones saying that tablets are replacing computers are clearly the same people who think “U” and “R” are complete words. Apple is one of the biggest companies in the world. Just think how big it would be if Steve Jobs had had a proper keyboard to write on!

But don’t get me wrong(I say that often in my blog posts, don’t I?), there’s good stuff about this squishy little phone too. For example, I finally have a phone where I can download ereader apps to! I don’t own a Kindle or any other ereader for that matter, so I have been using the Kindle app for PC to read ebooks. That kind of limits the time you spend reading ebooks, don’t you think?

I have also discovered a lot of other useful apps in my search. An interactive notepad, for one, and one for keeping track of your sleep patterns. And one simulating a shotgun, to scare the fluff out of my dogs! How did I ever live without that?

I’m still learning, though… I think the word I have used the most in the last few days is “Ooops!”. Damn things opening all over the place if you aren’t careful…

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Exam Stress and Archery

Archery Recurve TargetYes, I’m alive! Barely, though…

My final exams are killing me, and I seem to be all too eager to help it along! All the stress builds up this nervous, restless energy that can’t be used for anything productive, so I have had to find a way to release it through getting off my ass and doing something physical. That’s bad enough as it is. Exercise never did anyone any good. You can eat healthy, get into shape, become a monk… You die anyway. Might as well not try to fight it.

Where was I…? Oh, yeah, getting off my ass…

I do a range of different activities for exercise… Martial arts, archery, pole dancing… All of which have the potentiel to freak out my neighbours if I practice in my garden. So I settled for the one where I get to carry a weapon in case anyone called the police.

Generally, archery is a great way to relax your mind and train your body. Which is why I usually go to my archery club once a week and shoot around 40-50 arrows. Great way to release stress!

But let’s just say I get really stressed during exams…

Going from 40 arrows a week to 300 a day might give you an estimate of how much I hate exams… On the bright side, all the weight I lost in body fat, I gained in muscle! I’m still tiny and underweight, but now I will beat the crap out of you if you comment on it.

I know this might not seem that stupid to you, but I might have gone a little overboard… I think I realized it when my arrows started to go straight through my target mat where the foam was falling apart. Or maybe when I thought about the fact that my neighbour hadn’t let his cats out for quite a while…

Could also be when I couldn’t hold a pen during one of my written exams, because the skin on my fingers was completely raw from holding the bow string. Even though I have been wearing a protective glove…

Strangely enough, I haven’t felt any pain in my muscles. My nerves might have disconnected… I wonder if I might spontanously collapse from the strain at some point. Normally, I would be completely beat and my back would be hurting after a normal training session, but apparently I feel fine after intensifying my training by at least 2000%. Some part of me thinks ‘great, I’m getting into shape!’, while some other part is telling me to wake up and smell the nervous break down coming. I’m blissfully ignoring the second one.

I’m getting kind of fond of the look I’m sporting lately, though. The backs of my hands are covered in small wounds where I have stabbed myself with arrows(Not. A. Word…), I have various scratches I’m not sure how got there and a couple of bruises turning purple from whiplash from the bow string. Not sure if I’m rocking the tough girl look, or if I’m looking like someone who belongs in a home for abused women. Time will tell, I guess!

I really wonder what happened to my neighbour’s cats, though…

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Interview by Kevin Rau

Book Quill WritingI had the pleasure of talking to author Kevin Rau on Twitter not too long ago. He is the author of the H.E.R.O. books and asked me to do an interview for his blog. Normally, I find most author interviews to be dull and repetive, but I really enjoyed this one and thought I would share it with you to apologize for my absence lately!

The interview is the perfect mix of author questions, ebooks and superheroes! You can find the original one at Kevin’s blog and read his commentary!

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When did you start writing, and was there a significant event that prompted you to do so?

I have always loved writing, and I have written short stories ever since I could craft sentences properly together! As a young kid, I used to write stories in Danish, but as soon as I started learning English in school, I quickly grew to love the language. I would write horror short stories as my written assignments and I still stumble across some of them when I go through my old backup files. It’s a wonder my English teacher didn’t force me into therapy! Some of those things should not have been written by an 11-year old girl…

If you could have one superpower, what would it be? (Assuming said power would be reasonably “powerful.”)

Oh, I love this question! As a big fan of superhero movies, there are so many things I would love to do… It’s hard to pick just one! I think I would like to be able to go through walls like Shadowcat from X-Men… Then I didn’t have to crawl over all the garbage in my room!

Do you have a favorite superhero from novels, comics, or movies?

As I said, I love superhero movies, so that’s a really tough question… My favorite universe is the X-Men one, and there’s just so many great characters! If I have to choose, I think it’s a tie between Rogue and X-23… Nothing like a tough girl with a tough story!

Where do you get your inspiration for writing? What motivates you?

Music, movies, comics, books… There’s a ton of inspiration, you just have to look for it! I carry a notebook with me at all times, and I have experienced inspiration striking in the middle of a movie at the cinema. It’s very hard to write down notes in complete darkness!

And I wish I knew what motivates me… It would make it a lot easier to seek it out. Most of all, I think it’s my mind’s hatred of standing still. I have to keep it active, otherwise I get restless. This is also why I never get any sleep. Ideas always wait until I’m in my bed, and they won’t leave me alone before I get up and write them down.

Do you pre-plan your stories, or are you a by-the-seat-of-the-pants style writer?

My first book, Resounding Echo, was actually just an attempt to start writing again, after many years break. I asked a friend for an idea to something I could write about and he said: “What about something that begins in a monastery?”

That’s all I had, and still it became a full-length book. I just started writing, with no idea where I was going. I do write ideas to plots and characters down as they come and somewhere along the way, I’m able to make something resembling an outline out of them, but I’m not one to really plan ahead. I write to keep my head from exploding, so I just plan as I go!

Do you write only when inspired, or do you have a set schedule where you sit down to write?

I tried the schedule thing, 500 words a day and all that. It doesn’t work for me. At all.

Somehow, every time I sit down with the intent to write, I’m completely empty for inspiration and motivation. On the other hand, all the times when I don’t have the time to write (or when I should be doing something else…) I get inspired out of nowhere. Large part of my books are written during classes where I’m supposed to listen to some teacher going on about Hemingway(or was it Scottfitzgerald?)

Do you have a favorite genre to write in? To read?

Definitely fantasy. Both reading and writing, though I mostly keep to writing high fantasy, while I will read anything within the genre as long as it doesn’t involve High Schools(I can’t take another one of those books… I’m sorry, I just can’t.)

What do you enjoy the most about writing?

Except from not going insane? I think it’s immersing myself in a story and getting to know my characters. Before, it would all be in my head and it would never be properly explored, but writing it down forces me to evolve the ideas and actually create something.

Is there any part of writing that you don’t enjoy?

The feeling that you’re never going to finish a book while you have writer’s block! It’s a horrible feeling!

Can you tell me something odd about yourself?

I could write a book(Haha…) about the oddness that’s me! Let’s just leave it at the fact that I have a wooden dragon figure called Oswald and that I dream of beating up Edward from Twilight with a bat…

Do you write one story at a time, or do you have several novels in the works at one time?

I used to have 5 different projects at once, but lately I have been more committed to one work. I think the world of my current book series has become too dear to me, and it prevents me from wanting to work on different stories while working on those books.

Have you ever wondered why evil people want to take over the world. Why not take under it?

Maybe they have more airplanes than they have shovels?

Where do you see the future as far as paper books versus digital e-books?

E-readers are still a mostly unknown thing in the little state of Denmark, but more and more bookstores are beginning to sell ebooks even here. Ebooks are definitely becoming more and more common, but I’m not one of those that believe paper books are dying out. But then again, I’m one of the few persons who still don’t want iPhone even when people throw it at me, because I like my phone to be a PHONE. But the rest of the world loves them, and I think more and more will switch to reading e-books, when they own a Smartphone or a tablet anyway.  

What are your current projects?

The second book in my epic fantasy series, Silent Sound. It has been at a stand-still for a long time, because of lacking motivation, but now I’m too busy to write and the motivation is suddenly everywhere! Typical…

Do you have any advice for others about self-publishing?

Don’t let it ruin your love of writing! It’s all too easy to be caught up in formatting, editing, marketing and book sales, and it will destroy what made you love writing in the first place if you let it. Do it, but don’t let it become your world.

Do you have any online sites where readers can find out more about you (and your books)?

I can be found just about anywhere: Facebook, Twitter, Goodreads, Tumblr, Pinterest, DeviantART, YouTube, you name it. But I can’t even keep track of those, so come visit my website to avoid all the confusion! You can find it here: http://michellelouring.blog.com/

My books can be found at almost any online book retailer as well, but most notably on Amazon and Smashwords!

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