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Madness and Newspapers

Lokalavisen Favrskov

I found a newspaper in my freezer yesterday.

I have been thinking about that a lot.

Just an entire newspaper, not wrapped around something or anything. There was literally no reason for this newspaper to be there.

Also, I don’t remember putting it there.

So why the hell was there a newspaper in my freezer?

Obviously it has to be me who put it there. I live alone, and while my mom did drop by during the weekend to feed the owl while I was at a convention, I doubt she made a detour to drop the local paper on top of my microwave pizzas. Don’t get me wrong, I do things and forget all about them, just like everyone else. I can’t even count how many times I have frantically searched for my glasses while they were sitting on my nose, or thought I had lost my keys just because I put them in the left pocket on my bag instead of the right. But usually I can understand the instinct that caused me to do those things.

I can’t explain the newspaper.

Did it offend me somehow? Did I think it deserved a worse fate than simply ending its life in the recycling container out by the parking lot? And even so, what exactly did I hope to achieve by exposing it to Arctic conditions?

Maybe I was trying to educate the chickens I keep down there. I’m not going to pretend I never reach a state of insomnia where informed owl food might seem like a good idea.

I have no explanation for the newspaper, but it seems to me that no matter whether you do so consciously or on instinct, putting newspapers in the freezer isn’t a sign of your mind working quite as intended.

Danish newspaper

20 thoughts on “Madness and Newspapers

  1. The human brain is incredibly flawed. I’ll see your newspaper situation and raise you a remote in the fridge. Maybe mine is more sensical – I mean who hasn’t gone to see what’s in the fridge, remote in hand – but still, at least your chicken could learn something. Even if the food in my fridge was sentient, what could it possibly have done with a remote and no tv. Maybe it took it as a taunt.

    1. Never put the remote in the fridge, but I have gone to get a glass then instead placing whatever I was holding in the glass cupboard… and then walked away without a glass, so I can see how that could happen!

      1. So many glitches in the matrix that is the human brain

  2. Probably your dementia starting… I mean you are quite old now…

    1. That was my thought as well, but let’s hope it was just an innocent Senior Moment.

      1. I mean you’ve had a good run… achieved stuff above and beyond the average homo sapiens…

        Remember to change the font when the Reaper-man comes for you… riding his faithful steed… eh… Binky..

        1. The… font?

          1. Whenever Death speaks to anyone in the Discworld they always change the font… don’t they? Or am I misremembering that… hmm… now I’m worried about my own sanity…

            1. I think it’s just that it’s all in capitals, but I admit I stare at his dialogue every time, just to be sure of that. It might be that the font is a little bigger.
              (It might also be that it’s a mystery that’s driving the graphic designer part of me a little crazy…)

              But no matter what, I’M not the one who needs to go changing my font. Not about to start copying Death.
              (That seems like a slippery slope.)

              And IF I had to change my font, I would never get around to dying. I can set up an entire website in the time it takes me to decide on the font for paragraphs.

              1. Ooooh. Whats your favorite font.

                (I know… that’s an expansive question)

              2. Ooooh. Whats your favorite font.

                (I know… that’s an expansive question)

                Since we are sharing super intimate details here, I’ll go first and tell you that mine is Tahoma.

                1. For headlines on screens, I’m a sucker for Trebuchet MS.
                  Paragraph text is much more tricky, because you have to find the balance between beauty and something you can actually read.

                  For print, I’m fond of Garamond or Minion Pro, but I’m planning to experiment a bit for the new edition of my books, so recommendations are welcome.

                  1. Huh. Interesting. I had you pegged as a Helvetica kinda girl.

                    Color me corrected. 😀

                    1. Helvetica is a solid choice and I usually set it as the fallback font when working with websites.

                      (And yes, I have watched the documentary.)

                    2. Documentary?

                    3. Yeah, there’s a documentary made about Helvetica. Good to know you’re not so far gone that you have watched it!

                    4. Really? Ha ha. You learn something knew everyday.

                      And now that you’ve said that… I do kinda wanna watch it. 😀

                    5. I remember it being quite decent, but it was something I watched on a slow day in school while studying web design, so it’s possible that it’s only decent by the standards of what schools make you endure 😛

  3. Maybe you were holding it while doing something around the freezer, then phone rang so you just tossed the newspaper in, slammed the freezer’s door and ran to pick up the phone?

    1. No one ever calls me, but it has to have been something like that…

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