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The Bookish Owl – Maskerade by Terry Pratchett

Maskerade by Terry Pratchett

Here we go with Maskerade by Terry Pratchett.

Artemis is home at the moment, but still quite unwell. But don’t worry, I’m still working through my backlog of owl photos, so he’s not being forced to do any posing. You’ll get the whole story as soon as I’m able to take my vet off speed-dial, but you can always follow my running commentary on Twitter. Apparently I get real chatty when I pretend I’m not worrying.

I hope you’re getting a lot of reading done and not going too crazy from social distancing.

I also hope you don’t have to give an owl antibiotics every day.

If you’re in need of more books to read, and would like to know what happens when you take Phantom of the Opera and add grumpy old witches, ‘Maskerade’ might be for you. It’s another Discworld book with Granny Weatherwax and Nanny Ogg, but it also have the added pleasure of Agnes Nitt/Perdita. It’s full of crazy, but then again, so are the news these days.


Maskerade
by Terry Pratchett

THE SHOW MUST GO ON, AS MURDER, MUSIC AND MAYHEM RUN RIOT IN THE NIGHT…

The Opera House, Ankh-Morpork…a huge, rambling building, where innocent young sopranos are lured to their destiny by a strangely-familiar eveil mastermind in a hideously-deformed evening dress…

At least, he hopes so. But Granny Weatherwax, Discworld’s most famous witch, is in the audience. And she doesn’t hold with that sort of thing.

So there’s going to be trouble (but nevertheless a good evenin’s entertainment with murders you can really hum…)


Maskerade by Terry Pratchett

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The Bookish Owl – Lords and Ladies by Terry Pratchett

Lords and Ladies by Terry Pratchett

Next up is Lords and Ladies by Terry Pratchett.

This Discworld book is about asshole elves and a royal wedding, but I reread it for Granny Weatherwax and Archchancellor Ridcully reminiscing about their past romance (I ship those two so hard), Nanny Ogg being Nanny Ogg, and Magrat suddenly becoming super badass and killing elves left and right and scaring the shit out of poor Shawn.

There’s also a falconer that I feel a certain sympathy for. He’s called Hodgesaargh, which is not his name, but it’s how he introduces himself because all his birds try to rip his face off. He’s the kind of falconer I’ll end up being if I ever upgrade to something bigger than Artemis.

Speaking of Artemis, he’s looking especially handsome and dramatic in today’s photo. We took it on a bright sunny day, so I’m not sure how he managed to look like someone watching a sunset, but I’m starting to believe he might have some magic powers over cameras. It’s the same way he always stays photogenic, even when he’s molting and looks like a plucked turkey in reality.


Lords and Ladies
by Terry Pratchett

The fairies are back – but this time they don’t just want your teeth.

It’s Midsummer Night – no time for dreaming. Because sometimes, when there’s more than one reality at play, too much dreaming can make the walls between them come tumbling down. And there’s usually a damned good reason for there being walls between them in the first place – to keep things out. Things who want to make mischief and play havoc with the natural order.

Granny Weatherwax and her tiny coven are up against real elves. And even in a world of dwarfs, wizards, trolls, Morris dancers and the odd orang-utan, this is going to cause real trouble. With lots of hey-nonny-nonny and blood all over the place.


Lords and Ladies by Terry Pratchett

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Don’t Listen to Terry Pratchett Audiobooks at the Gym

Good Omens Audiobook Saxo

Good Omens Audiobook SaxoI don’t normally listen to audiobooks. I have nothing against audiobooks – hell, I wish I had the attention span to listen to audiobooks, but I’m simply too ADD to pay attention if I don’t actively have to participate in what’s going on. I will listen attentively for about two minutes and then I will start thinking about penguins or something, and before you know it, we’re at chapter 17 and I have no idea what’s going on.

However, I have recently joined a gym.

Don’t worry, I’ve not suddenly become more enamored by health than by laziness. It’s simply getting to be that time again where I’ll soon be going to Poland for another round of Witcher School, and I need to get in shape if I want to survive it with just the tiniest bit of my dignity intact. Anyway, this post is about audiobooks and not exercise.

As mentioned, I don’t normally have the attention span for listening to audiobooks. But the same ADD that makes it hard for me to listen to audiobooks on a normal day also makes being at the gym mentally exhausting. An hour of my mind being idle is far more bothersome than almost killing myself lifting weights. In the past, I have read ebooks on my phone while on the treadmill, but after I realized that the Premium membership I had to my favorite online bookstore also allowed me to listen to audiobooks for free, I figured that might be a better option (it’s hard to scroll through an ebook while lifting weights).

I looked through the selection and found Good Omens by Terry Pratchett and Neil Gaiman. Since I have been wanting to reread that for a while, it seemed like the perfect choice, in case I got distracted and missed parts. It’s easier to keep up when you already know the story.

But I should have considered one thing: Terry Pratchett’s books are really funny, and people who grin while exercising belong in a madhouse.

In my defense I managed to keep it together – until we got to the part where there’s Bohemian Rhapsody lyrics injected in the text and the dignified British narrator suddenly had to go, “Scaramouche, Scaramouche, will you do the Fandango?”.

To summarize: I’m having more fun at the gym and the instructors are only slightly worried about me.

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The Bookish Owl – Equal Rites by Terry Pratchett

Equal Rites by Terry Pratchett

Here we go with Equal Rites by Terry Pratchett.

This was another Discworld reread (surprise, surprise). This one is about witches, wizards, gender roles, and of course, horrible monsters from another dimension.

It also has Granny Weatherwax, who, in the eyes of the wizards of Unseen University, might very well be both a witch and a horrible monster from another dimension.

I want to be Granny Weatherwax when I grow up.


Equal Rites
by Terry Pratchett

On Discworld, a dying wizard tries to pass on his powers to an eighth son of an eighth son, who is just at that moment being born. The fact that the son is actually a daughter is discovered just a little too late. The town witch insists on turning the baby into a perfectly normal witch, thus mending the magical damage of the wizard’s mistake. But now the young girl will be forced to penetrate the inner sanctum of the Unseen University–and attempt to save the world with one well-placed kick in some enchanted shins!


Equal Rites by Terry Pratchett

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The Bookish Owl – Eric by Terry Pratchett

Eric by Terry Pratchett

I bring you… Eric by Terry Pratchett.

That’s the title. Just Eric. Surprisingly, it’s a book about a boy named Eric. Eric tries to summon demons. Eric ends up summoning Rincewind, because this is Discworld, and obviously a cowardly wizard is going to be accidentally summoned by a weird 12-year old.

This is the part of the book that makes the most sense, but then again, I’m rather used to Rincewind books just being one endless line of crazy. We got time travel, lost civilizations, and Hell being run by a bureaucrat.

Good times.

Anyway, look how cute and bright-eyed Artemis looks in this photo! I bet he’s afraid Eric will summon him if he finds out he’s really a demon in owl disguise…


Eric
by Terry Pratchett

Discworld’s only demonology hacker, Eric,is about to make life very difficult for the rest of Ankh-Morpork’s denizens. This would-be Faust is very bad . . . at his work, that is. All he wants is to fulfill three little wishes: to live forever, to be master of the universe, and to have a stylin’ hot babe.

But Eric isn’t even good at getting his own way. Instead of a powerful demon, he conjures, well, Rincewind, a wizard whose incompetence is matched only by Eric’s. And as if that wasn’t bad enough, that lovable travel accessory the Luggage has arrived, too. Accompanied by his new best friends, there’s only one thing Eric wishes now—that he’d never been born!


Eric by Terry Pratchett