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The Bookish Owl – The Last Continent by Terry Pratchett

The Last Continent by Terry Pratchett

We’re going Down Under – to Foureks, obviously – in The Last Continent by Terry Pratchett.

No worries.

Any Discworld novel featuring Rincewind and the wizards of Unseen University is bound to be weird. Throw in time travel and a couple of kangaroos, and it gets even weirder. Which is why I can’t tell you what this book is actually about. Of course, a book about these wizards doesn’t actually need a plot – they’re entertaining enough all by themselves – but it does make it a little difficult to write a post about it.

Though the Discworld obviously doesn’t have an Australia, this book contains so many Australian-related jokes and references that it makes you want to kick a kangaroo. We also get to see the Luggage in drag – it’s never explained where they found hundreds of high-heels – and the Librarian as a beach chair.

No, it doesn’t make any more sense in context.


The Last Continent
by Terry Pratchett

‘Anything you do in the past changes the future. The tiniest little actions have huge consequences. You might tread on an ant now and it might entirely prevent someone from being born in the future.’

The Discworld‘s most inept wizard has found himself on the Discworld’s last continent, a completely separate creation.
It’s hot. It’s dry . . . very dry. There was this thing once called The Wet, which no one believes in. Practically everything that’s not poisonous is venomous. But it’s the best bloody place in the world, all right?

And in a few days, it will be except . . . Who is this hero striding across the red desert? Champion sheep shearer, horse rider, road warrior, beer drinker, bush ranger, and someone who’ll even eat a Meat Pie Floater when he’s sober? A man in a hat whose luggage follows him on little legs, who’s about to change history by preventing a swagman stealing a jumbuck by a billabong?

Yes . . . all this place has between itself and wind-blown doom is Rincewind, the inept wizard who can’t even spell wizard. Still . . . no worries, eh?


The Last Continent by Terry Pratchett

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The Bookish Owl – Small Gods by Terry Pratchett

Small Gods by Terry Pratchett

It’s turtle time with Small Gods by Terry Pratchett.

This Discworld book is a great and funny commentary on the nature of religion, and how easily it can be abused and used to control people.

It also teaches you a lot about tortoises.

Most of all, I really loved the main villain, Vorbis. He’s a fascinating and utterly horrifying character.

And I love it even more that he gets killed by getting hit in the head by a falling tortoise…

 

And it came to pass that in that time the Great God Om spake unto Brutha, the Chosen One: ‘Psst!’


Small Gods
by Terry Pratchett

‘Just because you can’t explain it, doesn’t mean it’s a miracle.’

In the beginning was the Word. And the Word was: ‘Hey, you!’ This is the Discworld, after all, and religion is a controversial business.

Everyone has their own opinion, and indeed their own gods, of every shape and size, and all elbowing for space at the top. In such a competitive environment, shape and size can be pretty crucial to make one’s presence felt.

So it’s certainly not helpful to be reduced to appearing in the form of a tortoise, a manifestation far below god-like status in anyone’s book.

In such instances, you need an acolyte, and fast: for the Great God Om, Brutha the novice is the Chosen One – or at least the only One available. He wants peace and justice and brotherly love. He also wants the Inquisition to stop torturing him now, please . . .


Small Gods by Terry Pratchett

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The Bookish Owl – Wings by Terry Pratchett

Wings by Terry Pratchett

Time to fly away with Wings by Terry Pratchett.

This book was the conclusion to the truly odd Bromeliad Trilogy. I’m still not certain what I think about the series as a whole, but if you like stories about tiny people stealing vehicles and having existential crises, this will deliver!

In this final book, the Nomes – alien garden gnomes – take to the skies and goes to Florida to find their ancient spaceship.

They then learn how to fly geese.

It’s weird.


Wings
by Terry Pratchett

Somewhere out there, the ship is waiting to take them home . . . 

Here’s what Masklin has to do: Find Grandson Richard Arnold (a human!). Get from England to Florida (possibly steal jet plane for this purpose, as that can’t be harder than stealing the truck). Find a way to the launch of a communications satellite (whatever those are). Then get the Thing into the sky so that it can call the Ship to take the nomes back to where they came from.

It’s an impossible plan. But he doesn’t know that, so he tries to do it anyway. Because everyone back at the quarry is depending on him — and because the future of nomekind may be at stake . . .


Wings by Terry Pratchett

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The Bookish Owl – Diggers by Terry Pratchett

Diggers by Terry Pratchett

We’re kicking the week off with Diggers by Terry Pratchett.

This was the second book in the Bromeliad Trilogy, and the follow-up to Truckers. This time the alien garden gnomes – the Nomes – steals an excavator to scare the shit out of the humans.

I still don’t know what to make of this series. And not just because I have always despised garden gnomes…


Diggers
by Terry Pratchett

‘And Grimma said, We have two choices.
We can run, or we hide.
And they said, Which shall we do?
She said, We shall Fight.’

A Bright New Dawn is just around the corner for thousands of tiny nomes when they move into the ruined buildings of an abandoned quarry. Or is it?

Soon strange things start to happen. Like the tops of puddles growing hard and cold, and the water coming down from the sky in frozen bits. Then humans appear and they really mess everything up. The quarry is to be re-opened, and the nomes must fight to defend their new home. But how long will they be able to keep the humans at bay – even with the help of the monster Jekub?


Diggers by Terry Pratchett

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The Bookish Owl – Truckers by Terry Pratchett

Truckers by Terry Pratchett

Next up is Truckers by Terry Pratchett.

This is about garden gnomes from space trying to hijack a lorry.

No, really. That’s what the book’s about.

As much as I adore the late sir Terry Pratchett, I can’t help thinking that he sometimes smoked some questionable stuff while writing…


Truckers
by Terry Pratchett

Imagine that all around you, hidden from sight, there are thousands of tiny people.
They are four inches tall, brave, stubborn and resourceful.
They are the nomes.

The nomes in this story live under the floorboards of a large Department Store and have never been Outside. In fact, they don’t even believe in Outside. But new nomes arrive, from – where else? – and they bring with them terrifying news: the Store is closing down and Everything Must Go . . .


Truckers by Terry Pratchett