Posted on Leave a comment

Kongemord – A LARP Where I Had to Act Like a Lady (Never Again!)

It’s been a while since I have done one of my ultra-long LARP posts, but I am afraid this won’t be it. I just realized that I hadn’t shared any pictures from Kongemord, a one-day Danish historical medieval LARP I went to this summer. And considering how much I suffered for this costume, it really won’t do not to show the proof.

It was 28 degrees (that’s a LOT for Denmark), and not only did I have to wear a heavy dress, but the friend who had convinced me to join her for this game also made it absolutely clear that wearing a smock underneath was not optional. I am now convinced that the only reason women in medieval times didn’t throw themselves off castle walls more often was that they couldn’t bloody move.

Never again. Don’t get me wrong, the game was really well-made, but having to navigate those benches in the dining hall all day while wearing multiple layers of skirts is a special kind of torture.

Kongemord LARP Cecilia Nielsdatter

Ahem. About the game: as mentioned, it was a historical medieval LARP set in Denmark in the late 1200 and loosely based on the murder of King Erik Klipping in Finderup Barn. The name “Kongemord” literally translates to “King murder”, which makes it slightly funny that this was one of the few LARPs I attended that wasn’t heavily focused on murdering each other.

(We did have the king murdered, but that happened between acts, and it was all very political.)

Kongemord LARP Niels Sunesen

The game was all about intrigue and political alliances between the country’s powerful families. I played Cecilia Nielsdatter of the Rodsteen family, the oldest daughter of Niels Sunesen and sister to Magnus and Elena. Their father was a right bastard who made enemies left and right, squandering what fortune the family had left, and his only son was a gentle soul who was more interested in becoming a monk and serving god—much to the disapproval of his father—than becoming the new head of the family. This left Cecilia and Elena to be the responsible ones who took care of practical matters, and try to mitigate the damage done by their father, all while trying to protect their dear brother.

Kongemord LARP Rodsten Siblings

So, I did say that this was a game about politics and not murder, but… Cecilia’s main objective was to get married to a man with enough influence to help her get rid of her father in order to protect both her siblings and their family name. And she totally considered murder to be an option.

I haven’t started playing meek characters, even if they appear to be more well-behaved than usual.

Kongemord LARP Walk

I will say this: while the first half of this game was very uneventful for me, the second half got pretty damn crazy. I managed to get engaged to three different men in the span of an hour (none of them being the one I had picked for myself and attempted to make a match with), my dear brother—who had no interest in finding a wife—got married and disowned by our father, and our sister orchestrated a plan that ended up with our father both accused of the murder of our mother and banished for treason, then eventually killed as he tried to murder Elena in front of everyone. 

Good times.


Posted on 13 Comments

Assassin’s Creed Odyssey and the Powerful Desire to Punch Sokrates in the Face

Sokrates Assassin's Creed Odyssey

I feel it’s been too long since I did a totally random and nearly nonsensical post about whatever video game I’m playing.

Of course, that’s probably because I have been too busy to play any new games and there’s only so much you can say about your 10,000th (let’s be honest, that number might be a bit low) Heroes of the Storm match which you allowed yourself in-between struggling through edits and answering emails.

But I finally got the time to play some of the games I got during Steam’s summer sale.

(Please be proud of me for holding out for months in order to make all my various deadlines. Months.)

Right now, I’m playing Assassin’s Creed Odyssey.

Now, I have a long history with Assassin’s Creed games…

I got the first couple of games on sale. Played the first game.

Didn’t get far because I kept falling off buildings.

I was told that the first two games weren’t all that good and that I should try the third one. I did, and I enjoyed it a lot more… until I got pissed at constantly failing stealth missions where I wasn’t allowed to start killing my way out if I was discovered.

Didn’t finish that one, either.

Then a friend told me that the fourth game, Black Flag, was by far the best game, and besides, it was all about pirates.

I like pirates, so I bought this game as well. Did enjoy all the content taking place on dry land, but the ship missions bored me to death.

Got stuck, didn’t finish that one either.

Bought a Collector’s Edition of Assassin’s Creed: Unity in a clearance sale, because the box was nice.

Never even installed this one.

I’m also pretty sure I once bought a Humble Bundle with a bunch of other Assassin’s Creed games…

My point is that games about assassins jumping off tall buildings and stabbing people while wearing flashy outfits obviously appeals to me in theory, but I should have accepted long ago that I’m simply too crap at them to ever finish one. And truly, I was about to make my peace with this.

Then… Assassin’s Creed Odyssey was released.

At first I didn’t think much of it as it looked like just another AC game, but without the nice coats. But all my gamer friends were going crazy about it on Twitter and my interest was peaked once I heard it was an open-world RPG.

Considering my all-time favorite games include Witcher, Dragon Age and World of Warcraft, this seemed like it would be more up my alley.

However, I wasn’t about to buy a game from a franchise I have famously always given up on in the past at full price, so I promised myself I would only try it out once it started to hit the sales. This brings us up to the present, where I’m writing a post about this game once everyone else has moved on long ago.

That’s just how I roll.

Speaking of rolling: I’m finding Odyssey to be a much smoother experience for me, compared to my previous attempts at Assassin’s Creed games.

Not only have I only accidentally fallen off tall buildings about 4 times, but the game allows me to kill just about everyone, as long as I have the money to pay off bounty hunters or the ability to run fast enough to get my ass to safety.

This is especially nice, because I keep accidentally knocking out people and upsetting the soldiers.

It’s not my fault, okay? The key for “Loot”, “Talk”, “Mount horse” and “Knock out” is the same, so it can’t be helped that I knock out the occasional innocent passersby when trying to get on my horse. And maybe I assaulted a soldier or two, just because they happened to be standing next to the general I wanted to talk to.

For some reason, that upsets them.

But luckily, they have a horrible attention span, because even if I – on accident – slashed open their shoulder, they will forget it if I run far enough away before returning. Sure, they will still be covered in blood, but it’s all water under the bridge as long as I don’t actually kill them.

Which – sort of – brings me to my next point. Odyssey, like the other Assassin’s Creed games, are based on actual historical events, places and people. As the name suggests, Odyssey takes place in ancient Greece some time after the whole deal with the wooden horse and the cyclops and all that. Which means you get to meet famous characters from that time. Characters like Sokrates.

Sokrates Assassin's Creed Odyssey

Now, let me be clear: I have never had any beef with Sokrates. Hell, I even considered naming my owl Sokrates (though I eventually settled on ‘Artemis’… which also comes up a lot in this game).

After two interactions with him in Odyssey, I wanted to punch him.

After three interactions, I wanted to punch him more than I really wanted to achieve anything else in the game.

I think you tend to forget what bullshit philosophy is until you’re forced to talk to a philosopher…

This guy argues about everything, but has no opinion on anything. Seriously, dude, if you don’t care what I do either way, don’t force me to have a moral discussion on it!

And if you’re going to do so anyway, I feel it’s only fair that the game gives me the option I have with nearly every other NPC in the entire game:

To punch you in the face.