Posted on

The Witcher 3 – A Few of My Favorite Quests

Witcher 3 Oxenfurt Drunk screenshot

I’m replaying The Witcher 3 and I thought I would talk a bit about what makes this game so very special.

I could choose to talk about the great storyline, the amazing characters or even some of the big decisions you have to make throughout the game. But plenty of games have good overall storylines and characters. What makes Witcher 3 stand out from most other games I have played is how even many of its side quests manage to be memorable. I have picked out a few of my favorites while I played.

Mostly, I have chosen quests that are either hilarious or downright horrifying. Somehow, The Witcher 3 manages to stuff both extremes into one game and make it all work.

 

The Dark Ones

There’s some really messed-up shit in the Witcher games…


A Towerful of Mice

I’m sorry, what did you say? There’s a haunted island where everyone died mysteriously?
What are we waiting for? Let’s go!

In “A Towerful of Mice”, the sorceress Keira Metz gives Geralt a magic lamp and sends him to a haunted island. When he gets there, he uses the lamp to reveal ghosts relieving memories of the island’s terrifying history. You get to the tower at the center of the island where you find a lot of rats, as well as clues to how a mage who lived there experimented with disease on both rats and humans. You also discovers how the starving peasants attacked and killed the highborn family living there.

At the top Geralt encounters the spirit of the daughter who tells him how she wasn’t killed by the peasants, because she took a sleeping potion given to her by the mage. However, after the peasants murdered everybody, they left her there among the bodies, and then she woke up she was paralyzed and could do nothing as the rats ate her alive.

And that wasn’t even the end of it. Geralt still had to lift the curse and it all ends horribly. And I looked it up, and turns out I got the “good” ending…

Witcher 3 Plague Maiden Towerful of Mice

Carnal Sins

In this one you’re chasing a serial killer who murders his victims in the finest Jack the Ripper-style.

It starts when one of the characters Geralt has befriended, Priscilla, is attacked and nearly killed. It turns out that it’s far from the first attack of its kind, and Geralt has to break into the morgue (through the sewers, of course…) to examine the body of the last victim. After that, you start hunting for the murderer who gouges out the eyes of his victims and replaces them with burning coals, and forces them to drink formaldehyde.

While searching the sites of the attacks, Geralt finds religious propaganda promoting the Eternal Fire, signed by “A Concerned Citizen”. Geralt also discovers that the killer leaves behind notes with the next victim’s name in the mouth of those he kills, causing him to race to save the next on the list.

I’m quite sure I ended up killing the wrong man, but that’s the great thing about this game. You might make a rash decision, but it will stick. In this case it meant Geralt assumed he had gotten the right guy and didn’t pursue the matter further. You only find out you got the wrong guy far later, when you stumble upon the corpse of another victim by chance.

The Witcher 3 Carnal Sins

Scenes From a Marriage

This is part of the main questline for the DLC Hearts of Stone, but it got everything a horror story could wish for: A haunted mansion, a mystery, a weird Frankenstein-like caretaker and talking animals.

Olgierd von Everec sends Geralt to his old, abandoned estate to find the violet rose he gave his wife the last time he saw her. When Geralt gets there, he finds the whole place shrouded in an unnatural fog, and while it’s clearly been abandoned for a long time, the flower beds are strangely well-maintained.

In the back garden, you find this strange patchwork man digging a grave for a thief who broke in and got killed by this ‘Caretaker’. Best of all, when you kill the Caretaker, you can loot his spade… which is, for some reason, one of the best weapons you come across in this game. I’ll never get tired of whacking bad guys in the head with a spade. Never.

Anyway, you have a chat with this weird cat and dog who refuse to give clear answers (what is up with talking animals always being annoyingly vague?) and then you enter the house to try and find Lady Iris, Olgierd’s wife. You immediately catch a glimpse of her creepy ghost crawling out from an old painting before she disappears off to god-knows-where and leaves you to explore the obviously-very-haunted house. While you do so, chairs will randomly fall over, ceiling beams will fall down, and Lady Iris will whisper encouraging things like “You will die here” from somewhere close-by.

Eventually, you find Iris’ body, lying on the bed in her bedroom.

To appease her wraith, Geralt holds a burial for her and her wraith arrives, creating a world of memories from a painting that she makes Geralt enter.

It’s all rather trippy from here on out…

Witcher 3 Caretaker

 

The Funny Ones

Luckily, it’s not all horror and tragedy!
(Except possibly for the poor fellow who got hit in the head by the flying cow…)


The Oxenfurt Drunk

Another quest with an investigation that starts in a morgue, yet this one gets to go under the funny ones!

Oh sure, it’s about a vampire on a killing spree in the city of Oxenfurt, but it’s about an alcoholic vampire on a killing spree in Oxenfurt, meaning Geralt has to get drunk off his ass to lure it out. This katakan only attacks and drinks the blood of drunkards, so after Geralt empties the nearest inn for cheap wine, he staggers around in the street, singing rowdy ballads.

One of the best parts is the grumpy man yelling out his window, complaining about the noise and vulgarity. At one point you can hear him go, “Young people, these days!”

Geralt’s probably close to being 100 years old, yet he still goes, “Alright, alright, sheesh” and stumbles on into another street.

Eventually the katakan attacks and you have to do half the fight while completely pissed… but of course you eventually chase it down and cut its head off.

Witcher 3 Oxenfurt Drunk screenshot

Of Dairy and Darkness

Before I played Witcher, I didn’t know what a Tyromancer was.

A Tyromancer tells the future… from cheese. Tea leaves are for amateurs!

In this quest, Geralt goes to investigate the abandoned tower, formerly owned by the mage Aeramas, and finds a labyrinth of stinking, poisonous cheese in the basement. The quest log describes it as “fouler smelling than a drowner’s scrotum”. For any normal person, that would be the cue to leave, right? Not for Geralt. Geralt decides to pass the Trial of the Cheeses.

In the end, Geralt finds a valuable sword and names it “The Emmentaler”, and I considered whether or not it’s possible to smack the player-controlled character…

Witcher 3 Tyromancy screenshot

Goodness, Gracious, Great Balls of Granite!

Okay, so how do I describe this quest to do it justice…?

Geralt is hired by a very distraught art curator because the statue of Reginald d’Aubry has had its testicles stolen. Apparently, these stone balls are rumored to give all who strokes them unparalled virility.

I’m not making this up.

Since Geralt will do a lot for money, he sets out to locate the thief who took off with poor Reginald’s crown jewels. He tracks the thief to a house and finds him… busy. With someone else’s wife.

And let’s just say that the thief is not a young man. But apparently, him and Rosalinda have already been at it three times that day. And just to make it a little more awkward, Rosalinda’s husband comes bursting in during this conversation and Geralt has to explain that he’s not having a threesome with his wife and the old dude.

In the end, if all goes well, Geralt might end up running around with “Reginald Statue’s Genitals” in his inventory until you finish the quest. As part of his reward, the art curator invites Geralt to the opening and promises that he can stroke Reginald at no charge.

…Someone at CD Project Red actually had to sit down and write this.

Witcher 3 Reginald Statue Screenshot

Paperchase

When Geralt returns to Touissant in the Blood and Wine DLC after many years away, he meets an old acquaintance who wants to pay him for an old contract he fulfilled. All Geralt needs to do to get his reward, and all the interest that has piled up over the years, is to go to the bank and get it…

So Geralt goes to Cianfanelli Bank and asks the clerk to withdraw his money. However, the clerk finds that the account holder, meaning Geralt, is noted as deceased. Her information is clearly inaccurate, but she still requires a Permit A38 from Geralt. She directs him to window number one.

At window number one, Geralt is told he’s got the wrong window.

The unhelpful clerk at this window leaves him no other choice than to ask around for Permit A38.

When he finally finds the clerk who issues Permit A38s, he’s asked for his Form 202. Geralt does not have a Form 202.

He’s told to get a Form 202 from window number one.

The clerk at window number one is now on her break.

When the clerk finally gets back, she very reasonably explains to Geralt that she can’t issue a Form 202 to someone who’s been declared dead.

To Geralt’s credit, he lasts a long time before he starts threatening people enough to have the guards called on him.

Witcher 3 Paperchase Screenshot

Contract: Boving Blues

This one makes the list simply because all you’re told when hired by the quarry foreman is that a cow fell out of the sky and landed on one of his workers.

Understandably, this is considered to be a bit of a problem.

Witcher 3 Bovine Blues cow

No Place Like Home

Not quite a quest, considering the objective is to get drunk with fellow witchers Eskel and Lambert, but seeing the three usually serious witchers drunk off their asses and reminiscing about old times on the job is amazing. And Geralt and Lambert drunk-bonding is adorable! Throw in Lambert stealing Vesemir’s hat and doing impressions, a game of witcher “I have never” and then breaking into the sorceress Yennefer’s room and dressing up in her clothes to drunk-dial her friends with a megascope, and you have a party!

Witcher 3 No Place Like Home Dresses


So these are my personal favorites. Or, at least, a small selection of them. It’s hard to choose with this game!

What is your favorite quest in The Witcher 3? Or any of the other games, for that matter?

Posted on

I Blame Steam…

Steam Summer Sale

“This month, I’ll cut down on gaming and start doing some of all the stuff I have been neglecting! I’ll work on my books, get some gardening done, finish all those cosplay projects I started on more than a year ago, get serious about exercising…”

~~Checks out a few blogs before doing all those productive things~~

Random gaming blog: “Hey, Steam is having their summer sale right now!”

~~Sad sloshing sound as all my plans go down the drain~~


Steam Summer Sale

I buy too many games. Way too many. I can never resist a discounted game, even if I currently own 20 games I haven’t even played yet.

I own 6 Assassin’s Creed games. I haven’t completed any of them (though in fairness, I have tried. I just keep falling off things).

And now I just bought Assassin’s Creed Odyssey.

In short: I have learned nothing.

I also bought Danganronpa 1 and 2. A friend made me watch a Let’s Play of Danganronpa V3: Killing Harmony, and at some point I had to take a break to drive to my parents’ place and hug their big fluffy dogs because I was emotionally shattered. So I’m not really sure why I’m doing this to myself.

At least I stopped myself from buying Skyrim. I have heard the rumors about its adverse effect on spare time.

I’m done now. Three games I don’t need is still an acceptable amount, so as long as I keep it at that, it’s all good.

…Oh! Age of Empires II HD is 75% off. Be right back.

Posted on

Web Designer For Hire – Will Work For Swords

Rapier sword

Despite the headline, I am not actually looking for more work. But something happened yesterday that meant I had to tell you all about my current freelance project:

I got sword in the mail!

Rapier sword

Don’t worry, I asked for a blunt one. We all know I can’t be trusted with a sharp one


Now, to understand why people are sending me weaponry in the mail, I need to tell you a little story about something that happened last summer.

As I wrote about recently, I’m a big fan of renaissance fairs. Last year, as I do every year, I went to the biggest one in Denmark, Horsens Medieval Festival, with a few friends. Obviously, considering the kind of people I hang out with, we all got ridiculously excited about a stall where they sold all kinds of swords and daggers. I’m not sure how long we spent there, but I think there was drool on half the swords by the time we forced ourselves to move on.

Horsens Medieval Festival
No, we didn’t steal a helmet from a nearby decoration stand because one of us needed a hat. Don’t be silly.

Especially a beautiful rapier caught the attention of myself and one of my friend. I was seriously considering buying it. But at the same time my inner Responsible Adult was trying to convince me not to spent so much money on something I did not need.

(The rest of me was very much convinced that I did need it.)

I decided to give myself some more thinking time and asked the stall owner if he had a store where he sold his swords outside of markets. While he did, unfortunately it was on the other side of the country. So instead I asked him if he had a website.

And that’s where the poor guy made a mistake.

Slightly embarrassed, he confirmed that he had a website, but that it wasn’t a very good one.

I didn’t even think before blurting out, “Give me a sword and I’ll make you a better one.”

Less than 2 months before this, I had made myself promise not to take on any more freelance projects for a while, but I was rather mesmerized by all the pretty blades. I hadn’t actually expected him to agree.

We discussed it a bit back and forth, and he told me to contact him after the fair.

But there’s still more to this story.

Obviously, I mentioned this episode jokingly on Facebook, but I honestly thought this guy was just humoring the crazy chick rambling about websites, and not really serious about the project. So in the end I decided not to contact him.

Fast forward about a month.

I get a PM on Facebook from an acquaintance I don’t even know all that well. She told me she had been contacted by Den Sorte Ridder (the company with the swords) and asked about the website project.

Obviously I was confused.

Turns out the guy from DSR had confused me with another brunette he had talked to during the fair and this woman had given him a business card. By some crazy coincidence, this woman was friends with me on Facebook, because we had met at a cosplay convention years ago, and she remembered seeing my post from a while ago about offering strangers to make websites for swords.

It’s a small world.

After the confusion was cleared up, I gave her my email address so she could pass it on to DSR.

I heard nothing for a few months, so I once again dismissed the project. But lo and behold, in the end I was contacted by the guy I had talked to at the fair. We started talking details and I offered to make him a website for a sword and a webshop if he threw in another one on top. Told him it would be nice to have a sword for each hand.

He was the one who asked if I didn’t want a third one to hang in my belt. Clearly this man understands the value of bribery.

By now I have agreed to include far more features than I planned to.

The planning phase took waaaay longer than it should have (this entire story began in August of last year) because of various delays, but a few weeks ago I put my foot down and got the go-ahead to start work.

Which brings us back to the cause of this post.

I asked for a third of my payment (in this case, 1 sword) upfront and the rest once the website is done. And this is why I now have the gorgeous rapier I was gushing over nearly a year ago.

The End.

Sword rapier

Posted on

Spoilers Ahead – Thoughts on the Last Episode of Game of Thrones

Game of Thrones Red Keep

I almost got sad while writing this post for the very last episode of Game of Thrones. Not just because it was the end of an (overall) amazing show, but because I have really enjoyed channeling all my sarcasm and bad sense of humor into these posts.

What am I going to spend my Mondays on now?! Here’s hoping we won’t have to wait too long for a prequel.

Now, where was I…? Oh, right.

Spoilers.

Obviously this will contain spoilers for season 8, episode 6, “The Iron Throne” and as such, the end of Game of Thrones. If you’re not quite ready to find out who does or does not sit on the Iron Throne, and who does or does not (though you know ‘does not’ is unlikely) die a terrible death, you should stop reading now.

And then I say now, I mean now.

What follows is my usual mess of thoughts in chronological order through the episode. Maybe tomorrow I’ll do a post about season 8 as a whole that will actually make a bit of sense, but for now, enjoy the randomness.

Game of Thrones Drogon The Iron Throne

If Opening Credits were Twitter Users, I Would Yell at Them for Spoiling

I got ridiculously excited about seeing the names of actors of some of the characters I thought the show had just totally abandoned two episodes ago. But if Nikolaj Coster-Waldau and Lena Headey are just going to play corpses, I think maybe they should be moved to the end credits instead…

(But who knows? They might do a killer performance as dead people!)

Speaking of Dead People…

King’s Landing has seen better days, huh?

If they’re still going to be battling for the Iron Throne, I think they should all consider that the one who wins is also the one who has to clean all of this up…

“It’s Not Safe”

No shit, Jon. You’re telling me going to talk to the mad person who just destroyed an entire city and slaughtered about a million civilians might be a bit dangerous?

If Tyrion doesn’t know that, he really is an idiot, and you might as well let him get eaten.

I mean, after all this, Drogon is bound to feel hungry.

Why the Hell Aren’t You Leaving?!

Why are Jon, Davos and Tyrion even trying to speak to Daenerys and those still carrying out her commands? If there was ever a time to say “fuck it” and just run, it’s now.

There isn’t anything left to salvage.

Oh, No, You Don’t…

No, no, no. Don’t have Tyrion dig out the corpse of the only person who always supported him. Don’t do this to me.

I’m not going to cry.

(I’m not, I’m not, I’m not…)

Decorating is Important, But Not That Important

Did they pack that huge ass Targaryen banner before invading or did they have a team of Unsullied seamsters working among the burning ruins?

But I understand. Obviously you need to decorate your pile of rubble before moving in.

At Least Drogon Seems Happy

He finally gets to fly free and burn and eat all the innocents his little dragon heart desires.

Where Did All These Dothraki Come From…?

Didn’t we see the entire Dothraki army charge into the dark during the battle for Winterfell and get squashed by the Night King’s army?

Or does it just not count if it happens off-screen?

You Gotta Give It to Dany…

…her hair game is on point. She has just committed genocide, yet her hairdo is more elaborate than ever.

If I have a busy day ahead of me, I barely manage to do a passable ponytail.

Did the Definition of ‘Liberate’ Change…?

“You have liberated the people of King’s Landing from the grip of a tyrant.”

Yeah, no shit… They’re all dead. They’ll be hard to boss around now.

(Especially because all the necromancers are dead, too.)

Tyrion is Back to His Old Ways… And That’s Okay

Not only did he finally stand up to a crazy person again, the first thing he asks when Jon comes to see him in his cell is, “Did you bring any wine?”

If I was in his shoes in this episode, I would also have done something that earned me a death sentence and then tried to drink myself to death before I was turned into a matchstick.

It seems like the thing to do in this situation.

How Did You Manage to Make This Sadder, Tyrion?

Tyrion’s life couldn’t really get much worse right now, but I still feel like it’s rather sad that Tyrion’s best friend in the world was Varys.

You need to meet new people, Tyrion.

(Not that there’s a whole lot left…)

Okay, That’s It. Someone Kill Jon Before I Lose It

I am just done with Jon Snow. He has always been naive, but are you kidding me with this?!

He just said he wouldn’t try to justify it, yet here he is, trying to pretend any of the shit Daenerys went through excuses genocide.

Ned Stark didn’t raise his children, biological or otherwise, to be someone I wanted to hit in the face with a shovel. Not even season 1 Sansa was this naive.

(You’re making me overuse italics, Jon Snow, and you deserve every bit of my judgmental formatting!)

Poor Drogon

Mommy makes you burn down all the big, warm buildings and then makes you sleep outside and get covered in snow?

Someone call PETA.

How Is The Iron Throne Still in One Piece?

The Iron Throne is basically just an incredibly ugly, incredibly pointy piece of furniture, but daaamn, it’s sturdy.

My sofas can barely handle bored cats; This chair is dragon-proof.

Coo-Coo!

Obviously we all knew Daenerys was crazy by now, but that look she gives the Iron Throne is the look usually seen on people wearing straight-jackets in padded rooms…

I admire how they just went all-out with the crazy. They could have had Dany be a little horrified after calming down from her temper tantrum, or even a bit regretful at now having to rule over a pile of rubble, but no: They just let her cut all ties with reality.

I sort of respect that.

Finally!

I kept thinking, “If I was him, I would be doing this because I intended to stab her. But Jon doesn’t have the balls to do something like that.”

As anticlimatic as Dany’s death turned out to be, I’m at least thankful that Jon finally did what needed to be done.

…Now what the hell are they going to do for the rest of the episode?

Uh Oh… Mommy’s Boy is Home

Not sure how they made Drogon’s grief feel so much more powerful than Jon’s, but it was a truly touching scene.

Though I’ll admit, for a second there… I honestly thought he was going to eat her.

Don’t judge me, okay? I’m tired.

The Molten Throne

Now we just need a corrupted knight wielding Lavamourne.

That’s a really bad Warcraft joke. Just smile and nod.

I Expected More From You, Yara

What is it with seemingly sensible characters condoning mass-slaughter, just because the one doing it helped them in the past? Yara has never seemed the type to put up with anyone’s shit and I didn’t think she would want to play vassal to a madwoman.

Same with Grey Worm. He used to follow Daenerys because she protected innocent people.

At least Tyrion finally woke up.

Wait, Robin’s Still Alive?

Of all the characters I thought would be standing in the last episode, Robin Arryn never even made Top 100.

And Edmure, Too!

Honestly couldn’t remember who he was before Sansa called him uncle.

He’s got a lot of nerve to stand up and act like he’s the most experienced one when he’s best known for being a captive and for shagging his new wife while his family and all of their men were being brutally murdered.

Be a good boy and sit down, Edmure.

Are You Really Suggesting Democracy, Sam?

That concept is going to be harder for these people to accept than the existence of White Walkers, dear Lord Tarly.

However, they should all know better than to not take Sam seriously by now.

A lot of shit would have been prevented if people just listened to Sam.

Oh, Bran, You Little Bastard…

So he knew he was going to be king all this time and he just let everyone else fight like rapid dogs for the throne?

I admit, I didn’t see that one coming. Well played, Brandon Stark. Well played.

Now turn down the creepiness a bit, okay…?

(Sam’s encouraging smile to Tyrion is adorable.)

Tyrion, Give Yourself a Bit of Credit

You say you aren’t wise, but you just somehow reached the best solution for this messed-up kingdom. And, even more amazing, got everyone to agree that it’s the best solution.

You started out as a drunken whoremonger. Now you’re a miracle worker.

How Much Time Has Passed, Anyway?!

Tyrion says he’s spent weeks in captivity, thinking over everything, yet King’s Landing looks like it has had years to be rebuilt by the time Jon is let out.

Unlike the Game of Thrones Writers, I Will Inform You When Time Jumping

I will now be skipping all the major scenes until we see Tyrion again and addressing them at the end, because I have nothing sarcastic to say and I don’t want to randomly get serious in the middle of everything.

Greatest. Council. Ever

Tyrion as Hand, with Sam, Bronn, Davos and Brienne as the King’s Council?

That’s a dream team if I ever saw one.

And Podrick looking all proud in his Kingsguard armor? Just precious.

But really? They made Bronn Master of Coin? How is that ever going to end well?

But Davos spent a lot of time learning to read. If he has the skills to be Master of Grammar, he deserves the title.

Also, if HBO needs ideas for spin-offs: I would totally watch a mini-series about this council dealing with the day-to-day work of rebuilding King’s Landing.

GHOST!

Jon does in no way deserve Ghost’s affection, but I still got all teary-eyed when he finally petted him.

Sometimes, I think I’m a cold and unfeeling person, but then I see a display of love between a dog and its owner and I’m hit with Instant Emotions. It’s good to know I’m not completely dead inside, even if my empathy is reserved for fluffy companions.

And Lastly, To My Coworker Who Said the Starks Weren’t Going to Win:

I’m so going to lord this over you tomorrow.

(He also said he thought Daenerys would be the best queen.)

…I’m only being this petty because he mistook my Witcher medallion for a Stark insignia and they look exactly nothing alike.

Game of Thrones Stark Sail

 

A few final thoughts (it’s the last episode, so I’ll throw in a few serious ones): 

While the pacing was all wrong, and I had hoped for an epic fight to end it all, I think the end result here is as good as it could possibly be.

Bran will be a good king. He just needs to leave the diplomacy to Tyrion so he doesn’t creep out all his new allies.

I have always wanted Sansa as queen, and I have never thought countries stretched across regions with vastly different cultures really worked, so Winterfell as a separate kingdom seems like a great solution, when the King of the Six Kingdoms and the Queen in the North are on good terms. I did actually think it would end with all the seven kingdoms becoming independent again.

Jon needs a simple life. He’s not good with decisions and he’s too naive for politics, so a simple life on the Wall (or living with the wildlings) is the best choice for him. Hopefully he won’t get Caesar’ed again…

Brienne finishing Jaime’s entry in the Book of Brothers is bittersweet, but so beautiful.

Tyrion has already proved that he’s a good hand (the first time around, not to Daenerys…), so even if he’s going to be ever so slightly miserable, he’s the obvious choice.

I’m hoping Arya will finally become less murderous now when her deceased family is avenged and her living one is safe. She was beginning to worry me a bit.

 

All in all, I believe everything will end well as long as Drogon doesn’t come back for revenge and someone keeps an eye on Bronn.


As I said, I will probably do another post about what I actually think about the last season (instead of just live commentary) and it will probably be dull, because I’m at my best when I’m just rambling, but stay tuned.

If you’re late to the party, but still want to read my thoughts on the other episodes of season 8, here’s my posts for “Winterfell”, “A Knight of the Seven Kingdoms”, “The Long Night”, “The Last of the Starks” and “The Bells”.

And, of course, I want to hear your thoughts in the comments!

Posted on

Renaissance Fair Season Kicks Off

Viborg Majmarked 2019 Ridder

Viborg Majmarked 2019 Ridderturnering

To the surprise of absolutely nobody, I’m a huge geek with a wide geek range. So obviously a summer for me includes at least a couple of renaissance fairs. Today I went to my first fair of 2019, Viborg May Market. It’s a fairly small one, and unlike at Horsens Medieval Festival last year, I didn’t wager any children in a bet with the devil (still not sure why their parents just left them with us, anyway…) or give some drunkard permission to paint me green.

So all in all rather uneventful. But I got to pet a couple of huuuuge doggies (they looked like skinnier, fluffier ponies), try out every single kind of mead from every single mead stall and watch two armored people on horses smash into each other. So it was still a good day.

Irish Wolfhound Renaissance Fair

I think they were Irish Wolfhounds. Apparently they have been used as hunting dogs for hunting wolves.

Seeing as I didn’t have to bend down at all to pet them, I can see how the wolves might have been in trouble.

But enough about the dogs…

Wait, who am I kidding? You can never have enough about gigantic dogs! However, I am going to get on with the post. I got to pet both of these incredibly good boys, so I’m happy, and you can all just wallow in the misery of not having gotten to pet these incredibly good boys.

So, the tournament!

It’s not as good as giant doggies, but knights riding around and stabbing stuff (in this case, ‘stuff’ being one of the squires) is still pretty damn good. Especially when it ends in a joust, so you get to see them try to knock each other off the horse and have splinters exploding everywhere.

Renaissance Fair Joust

And then, of course, there’s all the mead. That’s good, too. Especially because I wasn’t the designated driver this time.

But I’ll be honest… This post was mostly to brag about petting the giant dogs.