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Do I Play Too Much Heroes of the Storm? Why Yes. Yes, I do

Not many think much of Heroes of the Storm after Blizzard pulled the plug on its eSport’s scene – throwing in the towel and admitting to League of Legends that they win – but it’s still my MOBA of choice. Possibly because it’s less popular, meaning I have less 12-year olds shouting at me than if I went to LoL…

But I play too much. Waaay too much. Fair enough, I have been playing ever since the alpha, but as of writing this, I’m level 1167. 1167. You don’t even have to know anything about Heroes of the Storm or similar games to know that that’s too much.

But what can I say? It’s my go-to game whenever I just want to kick back and not think too much.

Heroes of the Storm

My favorite hero is Nazeebo. He’s at level 133 for me at the moment. You get to trap people with a ring of zombies, and then throw spiders at their head when they can’t move. It’s lovely.

But Nazeebo doesn’t have the best voice lines. And that’s one of the greatest things about trying different heroes in this game: the hilarious comments they make if you click on them. I’m “only” level 46 with Brightwing, but he’s my favorite adorable psychopath. He’s a small fairy dragon with a really cutesy voice, and he says things like this:

“I like happy things. Like puppies, and rainbows, and… Dead enemies.” (Voice going from cute to a ominous whisper at ‘dead enemies’)
“I will be very happy to tear you limb from limb if you continue.” (Said all cutesy)
“Let us make their insides, outsides.”
“It’ll only hurt untill you die.”

Adorable, right?

Johanna (level 49) is great as well. She’s my kind of sarcastic:

“Jokes? You’re expecting jokes? Fine, I believe I can accommodate.”
“A crusader, a paladin, and a templar walk into a tavern…and they all have a drink.” (laughs) “No?”
“Oh Akarat, bless this, thy holy flail, that with it, thou mayest smite thine enemies into tiny, tiny, unfathomably tiny bits, in thy mercy. Let it be so.”
“Some fellow mistook me for a templar yesterday. I asked him: have you ever heard me shout ‘GLORIOUS!’ He answered, ‘I have now!'” (chuckles) “He was a witty fellow. Shame he’s dead now.”

I’ve even gotten my friends to play with me now (they’re all League of Legends players, so it took a LOT of convincing), and I keep telling them they need to play with the sound on so that they can enjoy the voice lines.

That has now resulted in our healer being miffed that Imperius – who another in our team plays as his main – merely says “Do you expect thanks for fulfilling your duty?” every time she heals him. She’s now trying to get him to play a more polite character…


I just realized that, by now, I have a whole series of rambling posts about my favorite games. So if you enjoy my utterly random way of talking about games, I have posts on:

A Newbie Demon Hunter’s Search For Pants in Diablo III 

The Witcher 3 – A Few of My Favorite Quests 

Assassin’s Creed Odyssey and the Powerful Desire to Punch Sokrates in the Face

and Favorite Companions in Dragon Age

The Witcher one very nearly makes sense… but you’re on your own with the rest.

 

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A Newbie Demon Hunter’s Search For Pants in Diablo III

Diablo III Act 1

So, last week I finally got around to playing Diablo III.
Not sure what took me so long. You would think a game where you get to run around in a dark forest and shoot demons in the face with a crossbow would be right up my alley, right?

Anyway, so I made a Demon Hunter and spent the first 30 minutes running around… pretty much ignoring my quest and instead desperately searching for a pair of pants for my poor character.

Seriously, you start out with a crossbow and stiletto-heel boots (that is NOT forest-suited footwear), but there wasn’t any money left to buy the poor gal some pants?

Demon Hunter Level 1

In the end, I took a pair of pants of a dead soldier in a basement. After I shot all the zombies gnawing on him. Magically, they fit me perfectly (and did not have a trace of zombie guts on them)!

I still would have liked a jacket, but I feel like I was just being demanding at that point.

After getting my pants, and shooting a bunch more zombies with arrows I’m not sure where I was keeping, I was off to save an old man. Luckily, as someone who has watched way too many BlizzCon livestreams over the years, and played way too much Heroes of the Storm, I knew this dude and was fairly sure he wouldn’t be zombified by the time I got to him.

But I was also fairly sure that if he went all “Stay a while and listen”, I might just shoot him in the face for the hell of it.

Perhaps luckily for him, I didn’t find the old coot before it was time for bed (real life bosses do not accept “monster hunting” as an excuse for why you didn’t get enough sleep to do your day job). I did, however, find more zombies. Soooo many zombies. And bats. And more zombies.

You get the point.

Long story short, I got my pants and I’m getting way too fond of this crossbow. Pretty much the only thing keeping me from shooting everyone in the face, friend or enemy, is because the game won’t allow me to.