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Web Designer For Hire – Will Work For Swords

Rapier sword

Despite the headline, I am not actually looking for more work. But something happened yesterday that meant I had to tell you all about my current freelance project:

I got sword in the mail!

Rapier sword

Don’t worry, I asked for a blunt one. We all know I can’t be trusted with a sharp one


Now, to understand why people are sending me weaponry in the mail, I need to tell you a little story about something that happened last summer.

As I wrote about recently, I’m a big fan of renaissance fairs. Last year, as I do every year, I went to the biggest one in Denmark, Horsens Medieval Festival, with a few friends. Obviously, considering the kind of people I hang out with, we all got ridiculously excited about a stall where they sold all kinds of swords and daggers. I’m not sure how long we spent there, but I think there was drool on half the swords by the time we forced ourselves to move on.

Horsens Medieval Festival
No, we didn’t steal a helmet from a nearby decoration stand because one of us needed a hat. Don’t be silly.

Especially a beautiful rapier caught the attention of myself and one of my friend. I was seriously considering buying it. But at the same time my inner Responsible Adult was trying to convince me not to spent so much money on something I did not need.

(The rest of me was very much convinced that I did need it.)

I decided to give myself some more thinking time and asked the stall owner if he had a store where he sold his swords outside of markets. While he did, unfortunately it was on the other side of the country. So instead I asked him if he had a website.

And that’s where the poor guy made a mistake.

Slightly embarrassed, he confirmed that he had a website, but that it wasn’t a very good one.

I didn’t even think before blurting out, “Give me a sword and I’ll make you a better one.”

Less than 2 months before this, I had made myself promise not to take on any more freelance projects for a while, but I was rather mesmerized by all the pretty blades. I hadn’t actually expected him to agree.

We discussed it a bit back and forth, and he told me to contact him after the fair.

But there’s still more to this story.

Obviously, I mentioned this episode jokingly on Facebook, but I honestly thought this guy was just humoring the crazy chick rambling about websites, and not really serious about the project. So in the end I decided not to contact him.

Fast forward about a month.

I get a PM on Facebook from an acquaintance I don’t even know all that well. She told me she had been contacted by Den Sorte Ridder (the company with the swords) and asked about the website project.

Obviously I was confused.

Turns out the guy from DSR had confused me with another brunette he had talked to during the fair and this woman had given him a business card. By some crazy coincidence, this woman was friends with me on Facebook, because we had met at a cosplay convention years ago, and she remembered seeing my post from a while ago about offering strangers to make websites for swords.

It’s a small world.

After the confusion was cleared up, I gave her my email address so she could pass it on to DSR.

I heard nothing for a few months, so I once again dismissed the project. But lo and behold, in the end I was contacted by the guy I had talked to at the fair. We started talking details and I offered to make him a website for a sword and a webshop if he threw in another one on top. Told him it would be nice to have a sword for each hand.

He was the one who asked if I didn’t want a third one to hang in my belt. Clearly this man understands the value of bribery.

By now I have agreed to include far more features than I planned to.

The planning phase took waaaay longer than it should have (this entire story began in August of last year) because of various delays, but a few weeks ago I put my foot down and got the go-ahead to start work.

Which brings us back to the cause of this post.

I asked for a third of my payment (in this case, 1 sword) upfront and the rest once the website is done. And this is why I now have the gorgeous rapier I was gushing over nearly a year ago.

The End.

Sword rapier

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Renaissance Fair Season Kicks Off

Viborg Majmarked 2019 Ridder

Viborg Majmarked 2019 Ridderturnering

To the surprise of absolutely nobody, I’m a huge geek with a wide geek range. So obviously a summer for me includes at least a couple of renaissance fairs. Today I went to my first fair of 2019, Viborg May Market. It’s a fairly small one, and unlike at Horsens Medieval Festival last year, I didn’t wager any children in a bet with the devil (still not sure why their parents just left them with us, anyway…) or give some drunkard permission to paint me green.

So all in all rather uneventful. But I got to pet a couple of huuuuge doggies (they looked like skinnier, fluffier ponies), try out every single kind of mead from every single mead stall and watch two armored people on horses smash into each other. So it was still a good day.

Irish Wolfhound Renaissance Fair

I think they were Irish Wolfhounds. Apparently they have been used as hunting dogs for hunting wolves.

Seeing as I didn’t have to bend down at all to pet them, I can see how the wolves might have been in trouble.

But enough about the dogs…

Wait, who am I kidding? You can never have enough about gigantic dogs! However, I am going to get on with the post. I got to pet both of these incredibly good boys, so I’m happy, and you can all just wallow in the misery of not having gotten to pet these incredibly good boys.

So, the tournament!

It’s not as good as giant doggies, but knights riding around and stabbing stuff (in this case, ‘stuff’ being one of the squires) is still pretty damn good. Especially when it ends in a joust, so you get to see them try to knock each other off the horse and have splinters exploding everywhere.

Renaissance Fair Joust

And then, of course, there’s all the mead. That’s good, too. Especially because I wasn’t the designated driver this time.

But I’ll be honest… This post was mostly to brag about petting the giant dogs.