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Top Ten Tuesday: Books That Make Me Smile

Books Pratchett Gaiman Jones

The Top Ten Tuesday post I did last week was a lot of fun, so I guess I’m doing another one this week!

Top Ten Tuesday is a weekly book blog prompt, hosted by That Artsy Reader Girl, and this week the topic is Books That Make Me Smile. I might as well come right out and say that my list will be heavily Terry Pratchett-centered, but a couple other books also made the cut. I included a few quotes from each book that made me smile, which is why this post is so ridiculously long!

Guards! Guards! (Terry Pratchett)

Guards Guards Terry Pratchett


Guards! Guards! is my all-time favorite book. It is absolutely hilarious, and you can’t help but adore the dysfunctional characters that make up the Night Watch. There’s the new recruit, Carrot, the six-foot-something human who thinks he’s a dwarf and who is so by the book that he tries to arrest a dragon for murder. There’s Colon and Nobby, veteran guardsmen who know that doing their job is a sure-fire way to get into trouble and instead spend most of their time guarding bridges, just in case someone tries to steal them. And of course, Captain Vimes, who’s not sure how his job suddenly got so complicated.

Quotes

“A book has been taken. A book has been taken? You summoned the Watch,” Carrot drew himself up proudly, “because someone’s taken a book? You think that’s worse than murder?”
The Librarian gave him the kind of look other people would reserve for people who said things like “What’s so bad about genocide?”

Sergeant Colon owed thirty years of happy marriage to the fact that Mrs. Colon worked all day and Sergeant Colon worked all night. They communicated by means of notes. He got her tea ready before he left at night, she left his breakfast nice and hot in the oven in the mornings. They had three grown-up children, all born, Vimes had assumed, as a result of extremely persuasive handwriting.

“Might have just been an innocent bystander, sir,” said Carrot
“What, in Ankh-Morpork?”
“Yes, sir.”
“We should have grabbed him, then, just for the rarity value.”

Colon didn’t reply. I wish Captain Vimes were here, he thought. He wouldn’t have known what to do either, but he’s got a much better vocabulary to be baffled in.

The Wee Free Men (Terry Pratchett)

The Wee Free Men Terry Pratchett


I’m usually not a fan of child protagonists, but Tiffany Aching is my kind of gal. What’s a 9-year old girl to do when she sees a monster in the river?
Well, if you’re Tiffany, you use your little brother as bait, then whack the monster in the head with a frying pan.

Quotes

“I can see we’re going to get along like a house on fire,” said Miss Tick. “There may be no survivors.”

“They can tak’ oour lives but they canna tak’ oour troousers!”

“And then there was the headless horseman!” said Tiffany. “He had no head!”
“Well, that is the major job qualification,” said the toad.

Mort (Terry Pratchett)

Mort Terry Pratchett


It’s not often I say things like this, but Death is adorable.
In Mort Death takes on a human apprentice and it’s both hilarious and cute how hard he tries to be a good master to the kid, despite knowing very little about humans.

Quotes

Death was standing behind a lectern, poring over a map. He looked at Mort as if he wasn’t entirely there.
YOU HAVEN’T HEARD OF THE BAY OF MANTE, HAVE YOU? he said.
“No, sir,” said Mort.
FAMOUS SHIPWRECK THERE.
“Was there?”
THERE WILL BE, said Death, IF I CAN FIND THE DAMN PLACE.

The wizards, such of them who were still on their feet and conscious, were rather surprised to see that Death was wearing an apron and holding a small kitten.

“That’s Binky,” said the heap. “He’s just trying to be friendly. I expect he’d like some hay, if you’ve got any.”
With royal self-control, Keli said, “This is the fourth floor. It’s a lady’s bedroom. You’d be amazed at how many horses we don’t get up here.”

Going Postal (Terry Pratchett)

Going Postal Terry Pratchett


Moist von Lipwig is the most likable conman ever and his totally over-the-top ways of solving problems will always put a smile on my face.

Quotes

“Did I do anything last night that suggested I was sane?”

And the nice thing about a stake through the heart was that it also worked on non-vampires.

If he’d been a hero, he would have taken the opportunity to say, “That’s what I call sorted!” Since he wasn’t a hero, he threw up.

The Graveyard Book (Neil Gaiman)

The Graveyard Book Neil Gaiman


The Graveyard Book made the list despite the ending being heartbreaking, because it’s also a really heartwarming story about a cemetary full of ghosts raising a human boy.

Quotes

“You’re brave. You are the bravest person I know, and you are my friend. I don’t care if you are imaginary.”

“I think . . . I said things to Silas. He’ll be angry.”
“If he didn’t care about you, you couldn’t upset him,” was all she said.

Bod shrugged. “So?” he said. “It’s only death. I mean, all of my best friends are dead.”

Witches Abroad (Terry Pratchett)

Witches Abroad Terry Pratchett


The locals always fear tourists, but when those tourists are two elderly witches with a total disregard for everyone else and a total lack of understanding of other cultures, it just gets so much better. You can’t help smiling when you’re following Granny Weatherwax and Nanny Ogg tackling ‘foreign parts’.

Quotes

“Blessings be on this house,” Granny said, perfunctorily. It was always a good opening remark for a witch. It concentrated people’s minds on what other things might be on this house.

“It pays to advertise,” Nanny agreed. “This is Greebo. Between you and me, he’s a fiend from hell.”
“Well, he’s a cat,” said Mrs. Gogol, generously. “It’s only to be expected.”

“Excuse me,” said Granny, empowering the words with much the same undertones as are carried by words like “Charge!” and “Kill!”, “Excuse me, but does this pointy hat I’m wearing mean anything to you?”

Howl’s Moving Castle (Diana Wynne Jones)

Howl's Moving Castle Diana Wynne Jones


Howl’s Moving Castle is quirky and charming, and definitely one of the books I would recommend someone who needs more smiles in their life.

Quotes

“I feel ill,” he announced. “I’m going to bed, where I may die.”

“I make that four horses and ten men just to get rid of one old woman. What did you do to the King?”

“Nothing is safe from you. If I were to court a girl who lived on an iceberg in the middle of the ocean, sooner or later— probably sooner— I’d look up to see you swooping overhead on a broomstick. In fact, by now I’d be disappointed in you if I didn’t see you.”
“Are you off to the iceberg today?” Sophie retorted.

Hogfather (Terry Pratchett)

Hogfather Terry Pratchett


Another book with Death being hilarious and cute. Hilarious because Death tries to do the Hogfather’s (Discworld’s Santa Claus) job, and cute because he tries so hard to be a good grandfather to his adopted human granddaughter, and fails spectacularly at it.

Quotes

HO. HO. HO.

One of the symptoms of those going completely yo-yo was that they broke out in chronic cats.

“You can’t give her that!” she screamed. “It’s not safe!”
IT’S A SWORD, said the Hogfather. THEY’RE NOT MEANT TO BE SAFE.
“She’s a child!” shouted Crumley.
IT’S EDUCATIONAL.
“What if she cuts herself?”
THAT WILL BE AN IMPORTANT LESSON.

The Colour of Magic (Terry Pratchett)

The Colour of Magic Terry Pratchett


The Colour of Magic might not be the best book, but it is funny and doesn’t take itself seriously at all, so it’s always good for a laugh.

Sometimes you just want to have fun and not worry about whether or not the book you’re reading actually has a plot…

Quotes

If complete and utter chaos was lightning, then he’d be the sort to stand on a hilltop in a thunderstorm wearing wet copper armour and shouting “All gods are bastards!”

On the Disc, the Gods aren’t so much worshipped, as they are blamed.

“We’ve strayed into a zone with a high magical index,” he said. “Don’t ask me how. Once upon a time a really powerful magic field must have been generated here, and we’re feeling the after-effects.”
“Precisely,” said a passing bush.

Thud! (Terry Pratchett)

Thud Terry Pratchett


I was laughing my ass off at the scenes with Sam Vimes reading children’s books to his son. Especially the last one where he snaps and starts fighting off an army of – rather freaked out – dwarfs while yelling about not being able to find his cow.

Quotes

“That’s! Not! My! Cow!”

Standing around watching people was, of course, Ankh-Morpork’s leading industry. The place was a net exporter of penetrating stares.

“It’s not my cow. It’s a sheep with a pitchfork. Unfortunately, it goes quack.”


That’s it for me!

What books make you smile? Is it something funny, or maybe something sweet?

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Top Ten Tuesday: Authors I’ve Read the Most Books By

Bookshelf

Top Ten Tuesday

I’m trying something new this week and doing one of the Top Ten Tuesday prompts, hosted by The Artsy Reader Girl. This week’s prompt is Authors I’ve Read the Most Books By, which seemed pretty manageable for my blog prompt debut.

I have now scoured my bookshelves to figure out who would get the 2nd through 10th spots on the list, because number 1 would be pretty obvious to anyone who’s followed this blog for any amount of time, or made the mistake of starting a conversation about fantasy books with me…


Bookshelf

Terry Pratchett

47 booksGuards Guards Terry Pratchett


Obviously Terry Pratchett takes first place. In fact, he not only takes first place, he leaves every other author in his dust. Not only have I read 47 of his books… half of them I have read twice. A few I have even read three times, and one I might have read four times.

…And I just ordered three more of his books.

George R. R. Martin

8 booksA Game of Thrones George R. R. Martin


I am not entirely sure if this one counts, since two of the books in question are so huge that they are each split in two volumes in the box set I own, but I feel like it does. The entirety of A Song of Ice and Fire + one prequel adds up to a LOT of words.

Andrzej Sapkowski

8 booksSeason of Storms Witcher


Andrzej Sapkowski ties with GRRM for second place, and like GRRM, all the books I have read by this author is in the same series. In this case, it’s The Witcher.

J. K. Rowling

7 booksHarry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone Cover


Surprise, surprise – I have read all 7 of the Harry Potter books. Honestly, they should count for more, considering I have read them in different languages (all 7 books in both Danish and English, and The Philosopher’s Stone in German as well), but that’s where we’re getting into technicalities.

Richard A. Knaak

6 books


I have read 6 of Richard A. Knaak’s World of Warcraft companion novels.

Christie Golden

5 books


Like with Knaak, I know Christie Golden from her World of Warcraft novels. I have read 5 of them, but I think I have 3 or 4 more stuffed away somewhere.

Leigh Bardugo

5 books


I have read 5 of Leigh Bardugo’s Grishaverse books, and two more are waiting on my shelf.

Tamora Pierce

5 books


Another 5-booker, where I intend to read more.

Genevieve Cogman

5 books


I have read 5 of the books in Genevieve Cogman’s The Invisible Library series.

Neil Gaiman

4 books


3 Neil Gaiman books take up the incredibly small space left over on the two shelves my Terry Pratchett collection occupies. They sit next to Good Omens, which was co-authored by the two of them.


Yeah, so… Very convincing victory to Sir Terry Pratchett!

I’m sure the list would have looked quite different if I could remember all the mystery novels I read as a teenager, but these are the authors I have read the most books from WITHOUT raiding my mother’s bookshelves.

What about you guys? Do we share any favorite authors, or do you have your own Pratchett who takes up half your available bookshelf space?