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Don’t Listen to Terry Pratchett Audiobooks at the Gym

Good Omens Audiobook Saxo

Good Omens Audiobook SaxoI don’t normally listen to audiobooks. I have nothing against audiobooks – hell, I wish I had the attention span to listen to audiobooks, but I’m simply too ADD to pay attention if I don’t actively have to participate in what’s going on. I will listen attentively for about two minutes and then I will start thinking about penguins or something, and before you know it, we’re at chapter 17 and I have no idea what’s going on.

However, I have recently joined a gym.

Don’t worry, I’ve not suddenly become more enamored by health than by laziness. It’s simply getting to be that time again where I’ll soon be going to Poland for another round of Witcher School, and I need to get in shape if I want to survive it with just the tiniest bit of my dignity intact. Anyway, this post is about audiobooks and not exercise.

As mentioned, I don’t normally have the attention span for listening to audiobooks. But the same ADD that makes it hard for me to listen to audiobooks on a normal day also makes being at the gym mentally exhausting. An hour of my mind being idle is far more bothersome than almost killing myself lifting weights. In the past, I have read ebooks on my phone while on the treadmill, but after I realized that the Premium membership I had to my favorite online bookstore also allowed me to listen to audiobooks for free, I figured that might be a better option (it’s hard to scroll through an ebook while lifting weights).

I looked through the selection and found Good Omens by Terry Pratchett and Neil Gaiman. Since I have been wanting to reread that for a while, it seemed like the perfect choice, in case I got distracted and missed parts. It’s easier to keep up when you already know the story.

But I should have considered one thing: Terry Pratchett’s books are really funny, and people who grin while exercising belong in a madhouse.

In my defense I managed to keep it together – until we got to the part where there’s Bohemian Rhapsody lyrics injected in the text and the dignified British narrator suddenly had to go, “Scaramouche, Scaramouche, will you do the Fandango?”.

To summarize: I’m having more fun at the gym and the instructors are only slightly worried about me.

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Smashwords’ Read an Ebook Week 2020

Smashwords Read an Ebook Week

Smashwords Read an Ebook Week

Today marks the start of ‘Read an Ebook Week’ on Smashwords where you can get thousands of discounted and free ebooks.

I can’t believe it’s already this time again… When I previewed this, the related posts showed me the update I did about this sale in 2014 and now I feel old. It’s hard to talk about the wonders of digital books when all I want is to sit in my rocking chair and complain about young people these days.

Do me a favor and go download some books. Download all of the books. And then read all of the books. And then tell me if you come across anything good you think I should read.

What are you still hanging around for? Go on!

Smashwords Read an Ebook Week

1. March 2020 – 7. March 2020

Resounding Echo Michelle Louring cover
Resounding Echo – FREE
Silent Sound Michelle Louring cover
Silent Sound – 75% OFF
Quiet Whisper Michelle Louring cover
Quiet Whisper – 75% OFF
Ghostly Scream Michelle Louring cover
Ghostly Scream – 75% OFF
Redesign Fantasy Cover
Huntress – FREE
Book Cover Demon
Demon’s Dance – FREE
Song of Angels Book Cover
Song of Angels – 75% OFF
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The Bookish Owl – Equal Rites by Terry Pratchett

Equal Rites by Terry Pratchett

Here we go with Equal Rites by Terry Pratchett.

This was another Discworld reread (surprise, surprise). This one is about witches, wizards, gender roles, and of course, horrible monsters from another dimension.

It also has Granny Weatherwax, who, in the eyes of the wizards of Unseen University, might very well be both a witch and a horrible monster from another dimension.

I want to be Granny Weatherwax when I grow up.


Equal Rites
by Terry Pratchett

On Discworld, a dying wizard tries to pass on his powers to an eighth son of an eighth son, who is just at that moment being born. The fact that the son is actually a daughter is discovered just a little too late. The town witch insists on turning the baby into a perfectly normal witch, thus mending the magical damage of the wizard’s mistake. But now the young girl will be forced to penetrate the inner sanctum of the Unseen University–and attempt to save the world with one well-placed kick in some enchanted shins!


Equal Rites by Terry Pratchett

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My Next Book Will Be Called “Broken Melody”

Book cover question mark

Book cover question mark

I finally solved my title problem!

After months of asking on Twitter as well as on this blog, I eventually confided in a friend about my growing frustration.

15 minutes of brainstorming later and I had not only the title for this book, but for the rest of the planned books in the Angel’s Voice series.

It’s the same friend who helped me fix some typography issues when I was redesigning covers for the series. I might just have to start paying her…

Of course we’re continuing the ‘sound’-theme from the earlier books and naming the fifth book ‘Broken Melody’. Let’s hope I don’t jinx the book by naming it. The writing has been going remarkably well and I would love to break my habit of taking years to finish books.

And yes, I know some of you will be disappointed that the book won’t be called ‘CSI: Var’nori’, but it’s very important to remember that I’m often quite sleep-deprived when I write blog posts and that I never should have shared my weird working title with you to begin with. It’s bad enough that it’s still kind of stuck in my own head…

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This Post has Absolutely No Owls in it

Sword books weights

I was looking over my latest blog posts and realized, “Wow… I really post nothing but owl photos these days, huh?”

I know many people will tell me that there’s nothing wrong with owl photos, but come on… even the most ardent avian fan must be feeling bored with the lack of variation by now.

So I have decided to write a post that’s not about owls.

Of course I have absolutely no idea what I’m going to write about, but I’m a writer. I’ll figure something out.

Perhaps a writing update is in order? I have been working on the fifth book in the Angel’s Voice series, and – except from a break in January – it’s been going surprisingly well. I still haven’t been able to come up with a title, though, and I really should do something about that, because I have taken to calling it ‘CSI: Var’nori’ in my head and I don’t want that to stick in my mind as the actual title… I’m already having mental images of Selissa and Orrell wearing sunglasses and making bad puns and it has got to stop.

As you might have guessed, the next book sees Selissa investigating a crime in the mage city of Var’nori. For once she’s actually on the side of the law, and she hates it with a burning passion, because that means she has to work alongside both mages and nobles, and tolerate the politics that brings with it.

I promise I will kill off every bad pun that threatens to sneak into the dialogue.

I would post some snippets and excerpts from the book if it wasn’t for the lack of a title. As I said, I can not allow my working title to stick, so there will be no posts titled “CSI: Var’nori – Excerpt (Chapter 7)”. If you have any new ideas for a proper title, the comments below this post are open, and if you solve my problem I will be eternally grateful and wish you lots of kittens and rainbows.

Let’s see, let’s see… What else do I have going on? Well, I have obviously been reading a lot of books. So many, in fact, that if I keep up this pace my TBR pile will disappear completely before long. That’s a disaster that should never befall anyone, so if you have any recommendations for books I should read – you know where the comment section is. In case you’re new here, and haven’t had my reading habits shoved down your throat for the last year, I can say I prefer Fantasy and Horror, but I’m open to other fiction genres.

Pretty covers are a plus, because it makes the book owl photos that this post is absolutely not about prettier.

Except from that, I truly don’t have a lot going on at the moment. As reported last week, I stole a plant. I signed up for another round of Witcher School in March, so I have joined a gym and now I feel like I’m dying twice a week, just so I can go to Poland and be beat up with dignity. I’m half-heartedly working on some of all those cosplay projects I started years ago and never finished, so there’s half a raven made from Foam Clay lying on my dining table, being creepy. I got a sword I still haven’t figured out how to hang on the wall.

Basically, there’s nothing new under the sun at the Louring house.

Sword books weights

To summarize: throw me a comment if you have ideas for a title for my book, recommendations for books I should read, or just want to help me procrastinate by continuing this utterly random post below.